The Best Parody on Ms. Roy from Greatbong, since Beld’s on Toran Adarsh…

This is *a parody* and does not purport to be written by Ms. Roy. It is also considerably shorter than her 25-page rantings.

Dhoni, the small-town ticket-checker and now the dashing national captain with more zeroes in his bank account than villagers displaced by the Narmada Dam, the poster-boy for the post-liberalization “Indian dream”, thumping an enormous six to win the tournament, the sound of the ball striking the willow reverberating with the hollow pride of a heartless nation. Then there was Yuvraj Singh, the man of the tournament, with his girth representative of the lard of Indian civil society and his double chin, its two-facedness and Sreesanth, his scalp as verdantly vegetative as the hills before the logging mafia denuded them, symbolic of the Indian idiocracy. He is lucky to be in the team though unlike Rahul Dravid, who has been left behind because he is a Dravidian.

The green-shirted Pakistanis, enervated by an illegal war forced on them by the Americans and the proxy battle carried by India, isolated from international cricket for years, were the slaves marked for death, set onto battle with but a trident and a cape.

I wanted to tell Suhas that people do not bleed blue. They bleed red. They bleed red in Kashmir, where courageous youths flying green flags and calling for religious purification, go up against garrisons of Indian oppressors. They bleed red in the forests of Dantewada where innocent Naxals butcher policemen.

Read The rest from Here

47 Responses to “The Best Parody on Ms. Roy from Greatbong, since Beld’s on Toran Adarsh…”

  1. The problem with this piece is that more than satire it comes across as sincere self-loathing!

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  2. Satyam I was hoping that you would put a picture of Ms. Roy instead of Dhoni….

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  3. Rajen probably is not commentating on his fav friend is because it mentions Ms. Roy and Beld in the same sentence……LOL!!

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    • the thing with Roy is that she was once more usefully polemical. Beyond a point though she started getting more and more shrill. I see where she’s coming from but I also think she’s become predictable in many ways and simply raising the polemical pitch each time doesn’t get the desired result. The system has now accounted for her. Ultimately you have to offer that alternative vision. Not just a criticism of the present but also a highlighting of those aspects of the present that might better work toward a future one desires. It’s like if I criticize Bollywood all the time that’s not good enough if I don’t know how the industry can get to where I want it to using the existing coordinates. So while one can offer the 70s as a model (my privileged model) the fact is that we’ve moved beyond it. Therefore those better solutions have to come into being using the resources of the present. And this is where Roy I think often gets so carried away by the polemics that she refuses to offer that alternative. We’re clearly not going to get a revolution in the current Indian state. How does one work with what is? I say this less as a criticism and more as a practical matter. You lose the audience eventually (or you just retain a niche one) if you do not allow people some sense of ‘security’ about the present. If everything is simply ‘bad’ that suggests that barring an upheaval nothing can change. Most people find either alternative scary. Precisely if one has revolutionary aims one should learn or acquire the art of engaging people.

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      • agree, and that is why I don’t get the criticism for Anna hazare, he is No ” Nayak” from Shankar’s movie, he has made an effort to provide a small start and spark……

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    • On Beld’s piece on Taran Adarsh which I’m pretty sure I saw the problem with that was the original already reads like parody! Hence the parody then becomes beside the point. It’s not just Taran but many others too. They already cannot be taken seriously except by the totally obtuse or the totally partisan or both!

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  4. BTW Mallam Malarum- is this a Tamil movie or a parody on Malyalam LOL !!

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  5. vatikala Says:

    Roy, some others like her take some causes and stick to them. Good. When they are proved wrong by some incidents, the least they can do is saying NO COMMENTS. But they choose to defend like defence lawyers and thus they start becoming irrelevant.
    Mallika Sarabhai is somewhat less dogmatic and more reasonable. One day I would like to see her as Chief Minister of Gujarat. She is born into wealth and she wont be corrupted by wealth so easily. Medha Patkar’s fight for the displaced is relevant and she needs all the support.
    Anna’s fight would have more teeth if he did not start giving character certificates. Agnivesh, Baba Ramdev, Kiran Bedi made a motley crowd and sent different signals to different people. Waiting for Jan Lokayukta in its final form and hoping for more honesty. But most of the Tamil Nadu people (who are also part of civil society by default) and who received all the freebies dealt a very severe blow to those who think civil society is pure waiting to wage a war against corruption. But this part of civil society seems not to mind being corrupted. The lesson is that corruption starts at the grassroots level.
    In Tamil Nadu bribes, are being accepted as legitimate(Barkha in Chennai). Tamil Nadu must get President’s rule for 5 years as a punishment. Luring voters is done almost everywhere in the name of religion, caste,region and language. As all parties in Tamilnadu has an OBC overflow, they are resorting to cash and other material incentives to lure the voters which alone is considered as corrupt practice. Non cash allurements are accepted as unavoidable evils and sometimes they get cancelled due to the diversity of voters.

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    • ideaunique Says:

      “Mallika Sarabhai is somewhat less dogmatic and more reasonable. One day I would like to see her as Chief Minister of Gujarat. She is born into wealth and she wont be corrupted by wealth so easily. Medha Patkar’s fight for the displaced is relevant and she needs all the support.”

      on the face of it – looks nice but mallika, despite all her sweet talks, has failed to cut ice with the “aam junta” – she lost miserably in the last election – and no, she had some mega election campaigns, so-called intellects on her side, no one stopped her or obtrused her campaigns – yet, she could not convince the voters! she is an artist and if by any miracle – comes to the power – it will have to be an event of the millenium! but yeah! in the absence of any other notable women politicians – this wannabe politicians can spring up a miracle…when?????? well, the proability is as high as that of an Abhi movie succeeding at the B. O. 😉

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      • vatikala Says:

        That is the problem with Gujaratis. They feel Gujarat is Modi and Modi is Gujarat. Like Congress used to say that Indira was India and India was Indira.

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        • ideaunique Says:

          that is a very superficial statement vatikala. I am a Gujarati and I don’t think Gujarat is Modi and Modi is Gujarat. Come on! Get real – Congress is all bull-shit in Gujarat – you have to stay there for few years to make some statement and what you have written shows that how the media-projection of Gujarat/Gujaratis/Modi has brainwashed people all over….and what Modi has done for Gujarat – bloody 10 sonias and 20 manmohans haven’t done so far……and I do like Modi….at-least man has done so much for Gujarat and it is not just on paper…..do yourself a favor…..spend 6 months in Gujarat….go out in the streets, meet different people and then write an unbiased “one line” statement before you write anything like this about Gujarat/Gujarati/Modi etc……funniest part is that every time Congress tries to malign modi – it boomrangs on them with double the intensity 🙂 and why do you or any one think that Gujarati people are fools that a modi or a sonia can play with them just with some words??? neither tata nor ambani is a fool and yet they have all the nice things to say (and put their money where their mouth is) in Gujarat…..go out in the colleges of Gujarat, youth is at par with the best in the nation…….also when u visit Gujarat – do visit Mallika 🙂 I have seen her performing dances and she is genually good at it….

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          • very apt reply idea…

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          • vatikala Says:

            To choose between the devil and the deep blue sea. Indians have very little choice. We choose the lesser evil. A functional government is better than a dysfunctional coalition. .Just like congress chose a Sikh as prime minister, let one day Gujarat choose a muslim as chief minister. That will be the day to celebrate and erase certain bad memories to some extent.
            If everybody says that Gujarat progressed under Modi, so be it. But after Modi who? Any second rung leaders to carry the baton? So far, there is not a whisper about other potential chief ministerial candidates or about any other ministers in the limelight. We hear only about Modi and Modi. Whereas if MMSingh leaves, there are stalwarts like Pranabda, Chidambaram and a host of others to choose from. They are more in the news than MMS.
            As for Ambanis and Tatas, they are business people. They will praise any place where they will be given opportunities.
            In life we have to move on. But it is easy to say than to do so. Especially when acrimonius debates take place, when scoring points take precedence. History haunts us like a shadow whether we like it or not. Especially in politics.

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          • ideaunique Says:

            “But after Modi who? Any second rung leaders to carry the baton? So far, there is not a whisper about other potential chief ministerial candidates or about any other ministers in the limelight. We hear only about Modi and Modi. ”

            Sachin has been playing cricket since 21 years and doing so well…..have we all been thinking that after Sachin who???? so why can’t we enjoy and praise Modi for what he is doing in PRESENT and not bother too much about the future?

            I think you are living in your own world of “words” and far from reality….wake up and take notice of someone who is doing tremendous amount of progressive work despite all the vicious opposition he is facing around him…..the worst disease with Indian people at the moment seems to be this …….try to find faults with someone who is genuinely trying to bring a change…..we have become so mentally paralysed that we are unwilling to take notice of the good being done in present we love to think about the unseen fears of tomorrow…..vatikala – go to Gujarat, feel the place, meet the people and then write about devils and lesser devils…..get real, come out of your imaginery world of words…..get real……DUM MARO DUM 🙂

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          • LOL idea- re.- DUM MARO DUM…..

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          • vatikala Says:

            Let us agree to disagree.

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  6. vatikala Says:

    Personility politics are a speciality in India whether it is sports, movies or politics. We make cult figures out of ordinary achievers making them extraordinary. We want Bharat Ratnas for them and we want them not to be bound by ordinary laws. One word against them, all the hell breaks lose.

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  7. alex adams Says:

    a very entertaining piece on roy–lol—enjoyed it!
    Freedom of speech is alright but its time that chronic persistent negativists (default opposers) like arundhati roya should be made to pay a “price” for their nuisance value…
    btw–unrelated—
    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/BlackBerry-chief-ends-BBC-interview-after-India-query/articleshow/7979429.cms

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  8. LOL,Rocky. Thats damn funny.
    Satyam, You missed the satire. It is certainly not self loathing.

    I would add my own paragraph to the piece:

    ‘After the world cup, I went to meet Headley and Rana in the jail in US. They greeted me with flower and candies and hugged me. I apologised for the cruelty with which Indian team dealt with Pakistan on the field and the obstruction of their civil rights to score runs and take wickets and accept catches without dropping them. I also apologised on behalf of the capitalist goons of US who were holding them in prison instead of the promised virgins.
    The world is not a fair place and I am not unpatriotic. I am just a human rights activist and just demand the same rights for all. Only somewhat more for traitors and terrorists.
    If you cut me, I will not bled red but green. It is only fair.’

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  9. alex adams Says:

    idea—r u a guy or a girl or srk—lol—-since your views look “male” but u have put up a tabu pic–or r u a tabu fan
    btw Am not aware of Modis “work” first-hand but do agree that he has been stigmatised too much and been treated like a “political untouchable” like never before

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  10. Trailer of Anurag kashyaps new movie

    [separate post created]

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  11. alex adams Says:

    Anurag Kashyap, as usual living upto his “maverick” billing—interesting.
    Yet to come up anything less than brilliant!

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  12. alex adams Says:

    Anything kashyap has done till now/likely to do is automatically “cool”.
    Heck, i even enjoyed “no smoking”!!

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  13. Superb piece…

    As you can well imagine, I was supremely excited when I picked up the latest copy of Outlook to read your latest outing Capitalism – A Ghost Story. I’m normally considered a reasonably smart guy by my friends and family. I read three newspapers daily, about five magazines weekly, a reasonable number of online publications and I work as a journalist in business news television (there’s a disclaimer needed here, you’ll understand why later, wait till the end of the article). But reading your article I felt like an ignorant buffoon! Really, I did. Admittedly I’m not a historian, statistician, economist or social scientist. I was constantly wiki-ing and googling the eclectic references that you threw upon me, one after the other. From South American politics to American spy craft to Indian constitutional history to nuances of caste and sub-castes in rural India, everything I read makes me wonder how you know so much and I, so little. I’m thinking even if I did somehow find the courage to ask you out on a date, I’ll probably suffer such a massive attack of low self-esteem that I might decide to voluntarily choke myself on the organically-farmed-by-non-displaced-non-microcredit-farmer made hors d’ôuvres.

    http://www.newslaundry.com/2012/03/tell-me-no-lies-arundhati-roy/

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  14. man, here is really really angry Tavlen Singh…. Interviewre kee toh ley lee…

    http://www.newslaundry.com/2012/03/i-agree-with-tavleen-singh/

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    • Tavleen is always very abrasive- and the interviewer is equally annoyingly smug. Pretty dull interview though- both of their arguments about Anna Hazare’s worldview are on the most literal level possible. Plus he keeps framing strawman questions and trying to reduce all her arguments to their most simplistic interpretation.

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      • agree on both Tavleen as well as Abhinandan. he almost cried though !! Tavleen probably had come prepared to turn this interview up side down….

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  15. omrocky786 Says:

    Kejriwal, middle class radical: Five lessons for Arundhati Roy
    Just like Roy, he too is attacking the system, but with far greater success. Where Roy divides, Kejriwal tries to unite. Roy dismisses the middle class, Kejriwal speaks directly to them. Roy insists all is lost, Kejriwal claims there is much to be gained. Kejriwal gives his audience hope that another world is not only possible but within their power to create. Arvind Kejriwal didn’t channel Arundhati Roy. He outdid her, and here are five reasons why.

    http://www.firstpost.com/politics/arvind-kejriwal-middle-class-radical-five-lessons-for-arundhati-roy-511085.html

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